do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
