I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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