had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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