she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
