I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
