What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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