I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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