is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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