She's JV to your varsity
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
