I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm like, not good at living.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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