Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
