Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
