my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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