drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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