honey bunches of taint.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
