yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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