nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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