just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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