You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
