this boner is exhausting
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize