My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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