I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
