I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
