You're so nebulous sometimes
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Randomize
