Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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