they need to just BURY HIM!
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
