If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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