I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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