Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
They took my balls.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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