I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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