Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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