so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
