You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You can't just leave with hair like that
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
