i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
