a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
