No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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