New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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