Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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