There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i out mim tonsoeep
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