In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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