It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
