I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
