My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
