Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
