My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
