i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
