He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
