Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
