I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
