4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
