im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
