The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
