He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
