Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
