I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
