Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
