we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
