oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
