after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
