I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
