no, he came in my armpit
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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