I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
