My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
